Saturday, September 18th, 2021


Online Date has an STD


(Online Dating Newsletter – You Make the Call)  You’ve really clicked with someone you met on an online dating service.  The chemistry and attraction is definitely there and you share a lot of things in common. The relationship is starting to get a lot more serious. On your fifth date, your date says he/she has something to tell you. You can tell they are struggling to get the words out. Finally, the date tells you that they have a sexually transmitted disease – genital herpes.  You are STD free. What do you do?

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8 Responses to “Online Date has an STD”
  1. Lyndsi says:

    I had this happen to me and this is my opinion. You always have to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. I knew immediately when he started to share this with me, that whatever it was he had to share was extremely difficult for him. It was so hard for him that by the time it finally came out of his mouth I was relieved. I had everything going through my head before he got to it (jail, convict).

    The strength that it takes for a person and respect to share this with you before the relationship goes any further speaks volumes of their character. There are plenty of people out there that do not and keep passing it right along. That is a person with no respect or character.

    With all that being said you treat the person with compassion, respect and appreciation. If it really scares you and you want nothing to do it with it, you can try to maintain a friendship if possible and you remain honest with them like they did for you. If the feelings and chemistry is already there and you are unsure of what to do, you schedule an appt with your Dr and you go get educated on the subject. This was what I did. After you educate yourself you make the decision that works best for you and them. If you enter into a sexual relationship there are plenty methods of protection that work. I was with this person for along time and never did get it, we are no longer together but he is one of my dearest friends to this day!

  2. Ashley says:

    What i do and what I do to him are two different things. But i will just say that I would schedule a std test right away and if you still want to have sex with this person, I would supply the protection and make sure it was intact. but for me, the idea of sex after he told me that would turn me off and we would just remain friends. if on down the line, I relearned to trust him, i would reconsider with very stringent guidelines.

  3. Jason says:

    It would bother me that they waited until the fifth date to say something. I see commercials for Genital Herpes meds and wouldn’t date someone that had them. I would ask her (STD carrier) to be my wing woman and suggest they look for their partner on an STD dating site. Damn viruses.

  4. greensmyle says:

    That is one tough situation. Lyndsi is right – treat them with respect and compassion. They had the guts and honesty to tell you upfront. Well its a curable disease isn’t it? So if you really like this person and there could be a possibility of you falling for that individual then get him treated and go on with your relationship. It’s such a small hindrance to having a great relationship. We must always be open minded and sometimes selfless.

  5. Will says:

    Respect and compassion are key, I agree with the other commentors – but self preservation tells me that a few dates in is soon enough to get out. My honest answer, I think that my health is more essential than someone I have just met…

  6. Will says:

    STD Dating websites are such an interesting concept to me. I mean, in one way, is it right to segregate people based on a condition? No, but on the other hand, can someone that is genital herpes free really come to terms with this… this is a tough one!

  7. Faraz says:

    If anyone said this thing in the fifth or sixth date, the response is obvious that the other person will go out of control. The first thing like Ashley said to do is get a STD checkup. Then if anyone is still interested in having sex with that person, you should seriously consider using protection. But for me I would never want to meet that person again.

  8. wilkinson says:

    Herpies is one of the nastiest STD’s and will never go away. If you are both Christian you won’t need to worry about this unless you get married anyway :). If you are going to have intercourse its’ still possible to get around however. Just double up and be super careful. If you want to make this work, though, you have to be prepared to catch the STD as well, which is a big call.

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