10
Ways to Leave a Dinner Date Early
So things are going terrible on your dinner date with a person
you met online and you're ready to exit early. Here are some
exit strategies for
you to consider that should ensure there isn't a second date:
1.
Talk all about yourself for about 30 minutes straight
- not
letting your date say anything - then say, "enough
about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of
me?"
2. When your food arrives, pick it up along with your
utencils and drink and crawl under the table.
3.
Ask the waiter if they have "barf bags".
4.
Excuse yourself to the restroom and when you return have
a long strand of toilet paper coming out from the back
of your pants.
5.
Ask your date to cut your food into small little pieces
for you to eat.
6.
Order Spaghetti then ask the waiter for chopsticks to
eat it with. Tell your date that chopsticks is the best
way to eat "bloody worms".
7.
If your date orders meat, like chicken, recite to him/her
all the methods suspect companies use to kill the meat
and deliver it to him/her. Give the meat a name.
8.
Use your mouth and a straw to blow bubbles in your drink
then tell your date that you can do it with your nose
too. Then show your date.
9.
Everytime you take a bite of food, lift your fork of
your plate then fly it around saying, "OK now, open the
hatch so that the airplane can enter," then fly the food
into your mouth.
10.
Tell your date the food is much better here than the
food you're used to at the local homeless shelter. As
your date if they can donate any extra money to you.
