Wednesday, October 20th, 2021


Get More Responses to Your Online Dating Emails


(Online Dating Newsletter) One of the biggest complaints received from Online Dating Magazine readers is that they send out a bunch of emails on a dating service and get no responses (or very few). This leads many people to feel “rejected” or that online dating doesn’t work for them.

It’s important to understand what is going on, because chances are that the lack of responses are not your fault.

First of all, the majority of online dating services, including giants like and eHarmony, force people to have to sign up for a membership in order to respond to another member emailing them. Also, many databases of online dating services are out of date, with hundreds of thousands to millions of profiles that haven’t been active in years.

Now here you are, ready to find that “perfect date”. You sign up for a service and email a bunch of people. Crickets chirp, the wind blows, the clock ticks, and… nothing. No responses!

Believe it or not, getting very few responses to your inquiries is the norm, not the exception. Online Dating Magazine researched this area and found that, on average, for every 20 emails you send to someone, you will get 1 response. So why is this, exactly?

1) Only a very small percentage of an online dating service’s membership are paid subscribers. This means many of your messages may be going unread.

2) Many online dating databases are outdated and people haven’t logged in for years. So once again, your messages are going unread.

3) Many sites have a lot more men than women, so getting a response can be a lot more difficult for men.

There are things you can do to improve your chances at getting more frequent results:

1) Use an online dating service that allows non-paying members to respond for free. For example, allows non-paying members to respond to an email they receive without having to pay!

2) Check when a person was last logged on before emailing him/her. Many online dating services show you in a person’s profile when he/she was last logged on. If they haven’t logged on within the past week then don’t bother emailing them.

3) Most services allow you to see who is online. Work on only emailing those people, because you know they are active.

4) Pay attention to a person’s profile. If the person sets their age preference between 24-30 and you’re 37, don’t waste your time emailing them! Also, when writing to someone, ask them questions (but don’t overdo it) based on what they put in their profile. And don’t talk about yourself. A person is more likely to respond if they see you’ve read their profile and have shown an interest in their interests.

5) Use services that work to your advantage. If you’re a female, the ratio of men to women on most major dating sites like and Yahoo! Personals heavily favors you. If you’re a man, you’ll want to use services like eHarmony and that generally have more women than men.

By following the above tips, you’ll be able to create a much better ratio of results that change your frustration into success.

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2 Responses to “Get More Responses to Your Online Dating Emails”
  1. Barbara says:

    I like this article a lot. I know a man in town who actually gets very depressed because he’s not having much luck finding a date. He doesn’t understand that sometimes more effort needs to be put into his profile and emails. He takes it personally and nothing I say can convince him otherwise. I’ll have to show him this article!

  2. Lori says:

    I love the point that you make that most people do not even get the emails that they are being sent as they are not paid subscribers. People need to remember this when sending out emails, you are right !

    On some websites, you can see the status of the letter such as read, deleted or read and replied. This just seems invasive to me as I have recieved letters bfore scolding me for deleting.

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