Wednesday, October 20th, 2021


Is it ok for a Girl to Ask a Guy on a Second Date?


(Online Dating Newsletter – Dating Advice) Dear Dating Advice,

If I go out with a guy I met online and like him, is it OK for me to ask him out on a second date?

Absolutely. The social norm of the recent past dictated that the guy was the one that always asked the girl out on a date. However, the evolution of dating and open thinking has made it perfectly fine for a girl to ask a guy out whether it is for a first date, second date, etc.. There are a few simple rules you should be prepared for:

1) Be prepared for rejection.
Guys face rejection all the time when it comes to dating and some let it get to them while others allow rejection to make them stronger by chalking it up to experience and not giving up.

2) If your plan is to ask the guy out on a second date while still on your first date, then make sure it is just the two of you when your invitation is presented.
Have a specific idea in mind so that you’re not just saying, “we should go out again.” It’s much better to say, “I’m going to the _____ on Thursday night. Would you like to join me?”

3) Be confident.
Women like a confident man. Likewise, men react better to confidence when being asked out.

4) Be prepared to pay if he says yes.
It is generally recognized that the person asking the other out on a date is the one that pays for the date.

There’s an entirely new aspect to your question that the emergence of online dating has brought forth.  For decades men who were shy rarely went on dates because they were too scared to ask a girl out. With online dating, shyness virtually disappears while sitting behind a computer screen. Online dating is the best thing ever to happen for shy people.

On a date, you may notice a guy is shy even though it didn’t show in your online communications. If you like the guy,  shyness and all, you may need to take the initiative if you want a second date with him. Otherwise, you can wait for that email to arrive from him if he wants a second date.

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5 Responses to “Is it ok for a Girl to Ask a Guy on a Second Date?”
  1. greensmyle says:

    We are living on a fast paced world, where everything swift and brave are most appreciated, and asking a guy whom you liked from your first acquaintance is a brave thing for a girl to even think of. But i must say that you must do what you have to do and asking a guy for a second date is very much okay. It is definitely not against the law! (lol) and it is but only norm in this time and age. So go ahead and ask him for your second date.

  2. Rhonda says:

    I see no reason why a girl shouldn’t ask for a second date or the first date for that matter. The worst that could happen is that the person says “no” and if that is the case you are better knowing where things stand right away.

  3. Sarah says:

    The world has certainly changed from where men were expected to ask out a woman to women asking men out on dates. It is definitely not uncommon and in most situations I have always been the instigator. I always felt a bit safer and at ease when I was the one doing the approaching. First, some men love a woman that knows her own mind and if the guy then rejects me, then I will know for sure that nothing will happen. It’s easier than guessing someone’s intentions the whole time.

  4. dasha says:

    I agree that it is better to try and in worst case get rejected than wait and guess.

    Now there is this guy who I met and liked from first sights, he seemed to be interested as well, we exchanged numbers. During the following week I didn’t hear from him, on the weekend I wrote an sms asking if he had good plans and suggesting mine. He called me back immediately, we spoke nicely, he invited me and a friend to a party. After all, due to some complications, my friend didn’t want to go there, so I wouldn’t either. I explained this to the guy, communication seemed fine, but we didn’t really make other plans.

    A new week of waiting and guessing and doubting. And this weekend again me writing him to invite for a last-minute coffee – tight-timing is rather to see his reaction and also due to my busy day. Few hours later he called me saying that he was doing other things, so couldn’t come for coffee, but later that night he was going out to some place and I could come. And I had a party to go to, and wasn’t sure if I’d be able to bring those people there later. That’s what I explained to him. We finished with no other plans. And I didn’t go there.

    So, here I am, guessing if he doesn’t want a “real” date, so he’s inviting more for events with people. Or he’s just not into me. But then why is he calling back and suggesting things? Just being friendly, doesn’t want to let me down rudely? I guess it should be fun in any case and I might invite next time I do something with people.

  5. Will says:

    I think there are a lot of women that underestimate a litle bit of confidence. As a guy, I have met many women that have tried to compensate for their lack of confidence with other aspects of themselves.

    Asking a guy on the second date is nearly successful all of the time if the woman is confident – and he will more than likely take the reins for the third date.

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