Saturday, September 18th, 2021


How Many People Use Online Dating Services?


(Online Dating Newsletter – Dating Advice)

Dear Dating Advice,

How many people use online dating services and why can’t I find one of them?

Online Dating Magazine estimates that more than 20 million people a month visit online dating services. But not all online dating services are alike. The majority of online dating services force a person to pay in order to respond (and sometimes even read) a communication they receive from a paying member. If you are sending out emails in hopes of communicating with someone, there are several obstacles you face before you even hit the send button:

1) Most services don’t tell you if the person you are communicating with is a paying member or not.

2) Some services don’t tell you when the person last logged on. For all you know, the profile could be outdated and the person long gone.

3) On general online dating services like, the majority of users are men. So if you’re a man, the numbers don’t work in your favor. Likewise, on relationship services like eHarmony, the majority of users are women. Why? Because many men don’t like taking the 1-hour compatibility and personality test and most men prefer to search through a whole site, versus only people they are matched with. Select a type of service that works in your favor.

Online Dating Magazine says that for every 20 emails you send out only one person will respond on average. There are, of course, things you can do to increase this ratio:

1) Consider using an online dating service like LavaLife that allows non-paying members to respond for free. Most charge to read emails and respond. LavaLife doesn’t.

2) When sending your first communication, ask some questions based on what the person said in his/her profile.  Make the email more about the person you are communicating with versus you.

3) Be positive. Your username, header message, and profile say a lot about you. By nature, humans are mostly attracted to positive and uplifting people.  Does your profile paint you as someone uplifting or someone who is a downer.  Which of these sounds more interesting?

Username: lonelyheart
Header: Lonely person looking for love
Profile: I’m recently divorced and hate being alone. Everyone says to try online dating, so here I am…

Username: fulloflife
Header: Bright Spark Looking to Ignite Shared Experiences
Profile: I appreciate the little things in life and am looking for a fun and positive person to share those things with…

You get the idea. Your attractive level begins with the approach you take with both your profile and your communications. Be positive, be fun, and enjoy the experience.

About Dear Dating Advice
Dear Dating Advice is a weekly column. If you have a question for Dear Dating Advice then send it to with “Dear Dating Advice” in the subject header.

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7 Responses to “How Many People Use Online Dating Services?”
  1. Clare says:

    online dating services are used worldwide by people that you would never dream would be using them ! One thing I have learned though is that you have to be careful with a lot of sites out there hiring moderators to send messages to un suspecting singles.

  2. Tommy says:

    I never used any of these services before but i plan on doing so, this site does provide awesome information to help me get started into this. I’ll give it a try and let you know how everything goes.


  3. Kim says:

    I admit that sometimes when I get bored I look at the profiles on a lot of the dating sites trying to spot my friends and neighbors, a lot of the time I will find someone I know. It’s amazing how many people use them!

  4. Rhonda says:

    I like scanning dating sites just to see how crazy some people are, they make me feel normal. I like the sites where you can chat with members live/real time. It makes getting to know them/weeding them out a lot easier.

  5. presli says:

    In my country all of the dating sites are free – they make their money with ads and some special paid options like voting for picutres, templates on your profile etc, so you can easily communicate with other people without having to pay for it. And about the paid ones which charge you just for registering – i have no idea why would people do that^^ I would never do it myself for sure! Anyway, your example on positive and negative profiles is really good, because i’ve never thought about titles and headers etc and the way they represent me, that’s probably i pay more attention on the pictures in my profile :)

  6. Lori says:

    There are indeed a few free dating sites, including the one where I met my fiance that enable you to meet hundreds of people. Although, in most cases you must wade through the informatino to find the gems, it can often be worth it.

    Since many people are deterered by cost, it can be a great way to find a date, or a mate.

  7. Asti says:

    Same to like @presli … free sites … a lot of people using them. The sites make money from ads, and have options to send SMS to become VIP user for a few days, and your profile to be on first page no mater what happens :)
    Sometimes I like to browse the sites to search for people I know, it’s kind of fun when we know each other and when we meet in the site :D

  8. I dont understand why most dating agencies want credit card numbers .Why dont we pay ino their account directl? It is too risky to give ones credit card.

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