Wednesday, October 20th, 2021


What to Talk About on a First Date


Dear Dating Advice,

I have a first date coming up and I’m not sure what I should talk about. Any ideas?

It can sometimes be embarrassing to go on a date and sit quietly virtually the whole time. That’s why it’s important to do your homework ahead of time. The key is that you want to focus on topics that interest your date. How do you find out what those are? You go back and look at his/her profile and the email communications you had. Let’s say the person wrote in his/her profile:

“I’m an environmentally conscious person trying to live a green lifestyle.”

There are several questions you can come up with based on just that one sentence:

1) What things do you think I can do to be more environmentally conscious?

2) What are some of the best green products you’ve come across?

3) Do you watch Greensburg (a popular show on Planet Green about a town destroyed by a tornado now being rebuilt as the first entirely green community).

By focusing on conversations from passions the person has written about in their profile / emails, you become more interesting to them. The person you are on a date with may feel more connected to you by you showing a genuine interest in their interests.

It’s also a good idea to learn the art of the followup-question. By asking follow-up questions, it shows that you are listening to what the other person is saying. For example, you ask:

“Have you ever seen the TV Show Greensburg?”

Your date says, “I love that show. It’s amazing what they are doing to rebuild their city after that tornado. If all cities did that, it would have a huge beneficial effect on the environment.”

You ask, “How do you think cities could do that without being torn down first?”

What you’ve done is continued the conversation by asking a question based on what the person was talking about. This is the same things that newspaper reporters do. They listen carefully to what a person says then ask them questions to gain clarification or further insight into the comments. In the case of a date, it shows your date that you are both a good listener and a good conversationalist.

Nicole Roberge has written a nice column on the subject of questions to ask on a first date at Online Dating Magazine. The column is called “20 Questions for Your Date“.

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5 Responses to “What to Talk About on a First Date”
  1. Barbara says:

    This is great advice, but one mistake that should be pointed out is the “trying too talk too much”. Sometimes it’s also good to lend an ear on a first date instead of trying to keep a conversation flowing continuously. If you both have common interests though, conversation shouldn’t be much of a problem!

  2. Krish says:

    It is always a good practice to be prepared on what to talk with your date on the first meeting. Talking about a topic which interests both of you can be the perfect choice.

  3. Kim says:

    I like to tell a long but interesting story. This way I get the quiet out of the air and come off a little chatty, which can make a man feel more at ease during the date. ;)

  4. Right says:

    I am basically an introvert person and hence always face this problem. Thanks for the nice suggestion of looking up the profile to know the area of interests of the other person to talk about.

    It is always better to listen and share on the topics of the other person rather than bragging about your own interests. I may not be good at talking but I am a very good listener..though! And that has helped me…most of the times.

  5. Rhonda says:

    Current events are always good topics of conversation. This will help you learn a lot about the person, like whether or not they pay attention to the news. LOL But more importantly you can gain a great deal of insight into the person by their opinions on issues. A way to get to know them without asking direct questions.

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