Wednesday, October 20th, 2021


Should I Buy a Gift for the First Date?


Dear Dating Advice,

Is it appropriate to give a gift on a first date?

The answer to your question is dependent on how long you’ve been communicating with the other person. If you’ve had regular communications (email and phone) for more than a month before meeting and you feel you’ve really gotten to know the other person, then a nice token gift is appropriate. However, if you’ve only been communicating a few days or a week before the first date then it’s more appropriate to not purchase a gift since you haven’t established any type of true “connection” yet.

Research shows that the far majority of people do not expect a gift on a first date. Therefore keep the communication rule in mind – if you’ve communicated more than a month then get a gift. If only a few days or a week, then no gift. Anything in-between is a judgment call on your part.

If you take a first date gift, don’t do chocolates or flowers. Those gifts are overrated for a first date. Instead, be thoughtful. Examine your communications and his/her profile and use clues of his/her likes and dislikes to purchase the perfect gift. By doing so, you are telling your date right off the bat that you are an attentive person. And it’s always nice to date someone who is attentive to your needs and likes.

The gift should be simple and thoughtful. Something “over the top” or “too big” could scare your date away before the date officially begins. The focus of a first date is in getting to know each other in person and your gift should compliment that goal.

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6 Responses to “Should I Buy a Gift for the First Date?”
  1. Barbara says:

    I think a token would be acceptable on a first date. Flowers say “too much too fast” whereas something like maybe a coffee cup with a trial sized pack of gourmet coffee says “I’m considerate and thinking of you”. This is a good post, thanks for the tips!

  2. Krish says:

    As rightly said by you, giving a gift would be a good idea based on the strength of the relationship. If it was only a short time relationship, chances are there that the counterpart may politely refuse the gift and it would be really insulting for the person who offers the gift.

  3. Kim says:

    I don’t think that I would feel comfortable giving a gift on the first date, unless I have spent a lot of time chatting with the person beforehand and new that they had a particular interest. then it would be neat to bring them a gift that had to do with their interest.

  4. Lori says:

    Anything above flowers or candy is going too far for the first date I think. After all, It’s only a first date – what if he or she is not into you? You have wasted your money on the date and it can lead to a bad ending.

    Avoid the gifts until you know what he or she would like and appreciate (:

  5. krm25 says:

    I think is a bad idea because:
    – your date could enjoy it and expect more on future dates
    – your date will be embarrassed because she has not bought something for you.

  6. Rhonda says:

    A gift is only a good idea if you already have established rapport with the person. Then it should be something that connects you, like a book you had mentioned (like your favorite book).

    Or maybe if you are dating someone from a different area you could give them a little token of something from where you live. It really depends on the person and how much you really know them before the date.

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